2014 Goal (Not Resolution!)

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The start of the new year always brings resolutions.  I don’t do resolutions.  Or at least I haven’t for a good while now.  Probably for the same reason I don’t make a big deal out of New Year’s Eve – because it’s just another day.  Granted we are welcoming in a new year but life doesn’t instantaneously change just because it’s a new year.  Life changes because it does and it happens at any time of the year – my family is proof of that.  So why wait for January 1st to make a change?  You should have done it when you realized you needed a change.

But, for fear of being viewed as a New Year’s Eve Scrooge, I’ll share my GOALS…not resolutions for 2014.  J  My main goal is to go to grad school.  You see, after many years out of high school and college I have finally realized what I want to be when I grow up.  I had been shamelessly calling myself a job hopper because this girl was NEVER satisfied, never happy at pretty much any job that I have ever held (I take that back – I loved the times I stayed home with the boys and dedicated myself to my family and our household).  Truth be told, if I didn’t have a family it wouldn’t have bothered me.  But for years I struggled with the fact that I was not satisfied with my jobs and I’m the type of person to up and leave if I don’t feel personal growth and satisfaction.  Not good when you contribute to your family’s income.  Paul was always worried and it was common for people to say, “Where do you work – now?”

Well that changes in 2014.  After Joaquin passed away I finally…FINALLY…realized what I was meant to do.  It came clear as day as only God can do when you actually…yes, listen. The days during Joaquin’s services I felt that oh-so-familiar pull towards helping people and more specifically, grieving people.  I felt called towards some sort of ministry that dealt with bereavement.  And then, amidst the tears that were flowing down my friends face while she knelt by Joaquin’s casket, as I draped my arms around her, my friend looked up at me said, “You should be a counselor”.  In true Christie form I laughed and said “Ok.  But God doesn’t forgive GPAs.”.  And then I realized, yes he most certainly does.  He forgives almost everything if you truly repent.  And let me tell you, I truly repent my darn grades!!  Eeek!!  But there it was.  There was that pull that I was feeling…but in the spoken word.

In 2014 I will attempt, with my low GPA, to get into the Masters of Education in Counseling and Guidance program (with a concentration in Community Counseling).   It may be a challenge, but here’s the deal with people that have dealt with the loss of a child (and are surviving, I should clarify).  We’ve been dealt the absolute worst.hand.EVER.   So after surviving that do I actually think that my low GPA will keep from the program and what I am truly meant to be?  That’s a big fat NO, y’all!!  It’ll be more difficult, that’s for sure, but what’s life without some challenges.

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New Beginnings

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When I started this blog in early September, I really had no idea where I was going with it. Like many bloggers, I like to write and sometimes I have a lot to say and of course I assume that people may want to listen (yeah, we’re a bit egotistical like that). Plus, I’ve had my share of challenges in the past five years and I figured that besides being therapeutic for me, blogging may also help someone else that’s going through something similar gain some clarity.
Little did I know that blogging would be challenging itself! But I am enjoying it. I am enjoying chronicling my life’s many ups and downs. Sometimes 15 people may read it and sometimes it may be more. It doesn’t matter. I am doing what I have loved since I was eight years old – writing. And I am learning from my mistakes. I’ve learned I need not make families members mad by spilling all of my guts with absolutely no censor (big whoops) but I’m also learning that it’s my blog with my opinions and it will stay as such. I’ve learned that people I would have never expected to read my blog are indeed reading it and that builds confidence And I’ve learned that this blog is part of my journey towards what God truly intended for me.
So as 2013 draws to a close I sit her and reflect on where my life has taken me. It has brought you to me and vice versa. It has brought my family to you.

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It has brought Joaquin to you.

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It has brought my struggles to you.

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It has brought my faith to you.

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I have newfound friendships through my readers and for that I am beyond grateful.  And I am over the moon thrilled that you are still here with me. I know that 2014 and beyond will take me on the rest of my journey and I couldn’t be happier to share it with you. May all of you have a blessed and prosperous 2014.

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