What Winter Means To Me

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Today, my tip-of-Texas hometown got their first taste of winter.  Our winter.  You see, our winter is not like winters up north.  We get a one day winter and if we’re lucky we get two days!!  And in those one or two blissfully cool days the ladies search for their boots and bundle up them babies!  I’ve always thought bundling up kids in parkas, gloves, scarves and beanies in 55 degree weather was hilarious because people from up north must think we’re such wimps!!  My six year old on the other hand is a hot box.  So much so that when he left for school this morning he simply asked for a long sleeve shirt and a lined windbreaker.  The boy takes after his daddy.  He loathes the hot weather and loves cool days.

Cool days like yesterday also remind me of Joaquin.  Of course, everything reminds me of Joaquin these days but hear me out.  When Joaquin was alive and we got our first taste of winter I became that lady breaking out the parkas and beanies.  But only for Joaquin.  Alejandro was safe in just his long sleeved shirt and windbreaker but not Joaquin.  Oh no.  This momma dreaded winter when it came to Joaquin because it usually meant sniffles that turned into coughing fits that turned into pneumonia.  And fast.  So yes, I became momma bear.  Every winter morning, I would watch the forecast on the news, step outside and determine what precautions needed to taken.  If it was windy and cool, then the child would get a shirt underneath his long sleeve shirt, a thick jacket and I would have Paul warm up the car.  Once warmed up I would run outside with him completely covered up in a blanket and he would get buckled in.  I am pretty sure he hated it.  But he went along with it and never complained to his crazy mommy and daddy.

And if he still managed to get sick, then our household went into overload.  I mean round the clock inhalers, saline drops, cough meds, cpt (chest physiotherapy), you name it, we did it. We never even went to our pediatrician unless we absolutely felt that we weren’t controlling it.  And when we did, his doctor knew that we knew the drill.  All she needed to do was listen to see if his lungs were clear and possibly order an x-ray.  In the 4 years, 2 months and 26 days that Joaquin was alive he made nurses out of me and Paul.

And so this first taste of winter feels really, really odd.  Todays morning routine was fast and easy.  I no longer have to pull out all the stops to protect Joaquin.  Joaquin is in a place with perfect temperature to last for days.  Joaquin will never get pneumonia again.  But where does that leave us?  We are so blessed that Alejandro has a very good immune system that our acquired skills are no longer needed.  So this winter, I have finally hung up my imaginary stethoscope and honorary nurses cap.  I am back to normal mom.

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2 thoughts on “What Winter Means To Me

  1. Beautiful words. I admire you more and more each day. I’m glad you put your thoughts into writing. It’ll bring you peace and healing. The fact that you share your heart with us, brings warmth into my life. You are in my continuous thoughts & prayers.

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