Listening Over Lunch

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Yesterday was not my typical Monday. Although, it started off as it normally does these days (dragging, missing Joaquin) I noticed I had an extra pep in my usually slow step. The pep wasn’t brought on by the fact that I was going into work (although knowing that I was working a half day made me smile) but instead by the fact that I was meeting a friend for lunch. This friend was yet another college pal, one that wanted to pull herself away from her frenzied home life and drive the four hours just to see me. How can one not smile when someone does this for you?
While I was happy for me, my heart ached for my husband. Upon waking I had noticed that he was moving at a much slower pace. He was missing Joaquin more than usual. Sure enough the text came in close to noon, “I can’t shake it. I can’t stop thinking about Joaquin”. I was in a meeting so I couldn’t pull away and call him but I prayed that God could read the text I sent my husband. “Even through your tears, talk to God, get out of the house and get to work!” I hated that he was feeling this way and there was nothing more that I could do. I prayed that work would provide him the distraction he needed to get through one more day.
As lunch time arrived, I drove to meet my friend and her sister and what followed was nothing short of mystical and divine. As much as I love to share my life with everyone, what I experienced over lunch yesterday was much too special to share here (although I don’t mind sharing it one on one so just ask and I’ll be more than happy to). It was a moment that left me in awe and tears. As a matter of fact, we were all in tears and I swear I noticed a manager that perhaps overheard the conversation walk away in tears as well. It was what I needed to feel the final connection with God and Joaquin. I felt complete again. I felt like I was finally on the right track. I was getting clues as to where I was going but yesterday’s lunch conversation (which involved LISTENING…again!!) told me I was close. So close that I could literally jump out of my skin. I walked away from our three hour lunch practically bouncing! As a matter of fact, I can guarantee Joaquin was bouncing along with me.
I still physically miss Joaquin every minute of the day but I realize that he’s not going anywhere. We are a team. We’ve been a team. And a great team, at that. Joaquin was sent to me to change me. And he did – I’ve said it before Joaquin passed away and I’ll continue to say it until the day we meet again in Heaven. To listen to all of the outside noise and not allow God to change me through Joaquin would be such a shame. There is no way I am allowing my sadness to overshadow what God meant for me through my sweet boy. I’m yours God. Use me.

communion of saints

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2 thoughts on “Listening Over Lunch

  1. Christie, Know that you, Paul, Alejandro and Joaquin are in our daily prayers. I read your blog “Listening Over Lunch”, Tuesday, October 29 and I was wondering if you would share your mystical & divine experience with me. Blessings & Prayers M/M Garcia

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