To Be Continued

31 Comments

My very first post on this blog was about why I decided to start a this weeks before my son Joaquin’s third open heart surgery.  In it I said “I don’t want you to hurt but I definitely want you to learn the same life lessons I’m learning and just come along for the ride”.  Well, that couldn’t be more true now.

The last blog I posted before this one talked about my fears as we went in for Joaquin’s Fontan.  And in it I said “He’s been down this journey before but for the first time ever, we’ll be able to recall the memories together.  And I can’t think of a better person to share them with.”  Well, as fate would have it, I will not be able to recall those memories with Joaquin.  Instead my Joaquin was called into God’s Kingdom early Friday morning.

His actual passing was as peaceful (for me) as I could have wanted it.  I listened for God’s word and when I let them sink in, I let out the most amazing sigh ever.  I exhaled and inhaled the word of God.  It happened in the arms of one of the hospital chaplains but I know she was just a vessel for God and as much as she spoke in to my ears as wept in her arms the only thing I remember was this, “You are a woman of God”.  When she let me go, the decision was clear and free of burden – it was time to let Joaquin enter into His Kingdom.

That moment was free of burden but not free of pain.  After all, pain is part of this world.  But I choose to focus on God and carry on.  And as I do I will remember that I wrote that I couldn’t think of a better person to share my memories with – my angel Joaquin.  And I will.  And I am excited and joyful to do so.

A few years back, shortly after Joaquin’s second hospital stay, several people told me that I needed to write a book.  And I remembered telling them, “No, not yet.  My journey with Joaquin isn’t over.”  Well, Joaquin’s journey on earth was over on October 4, 2013 but our journey into our next chapter has only begun.  Stay tuned…

pics from september 2013 771

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31 thoughts on “To Be Continued

  1. I remember the first morning after Will died I woke up smiling and felt like I was awoken by him talking to me. I couldn’t remember what he said, but I felt such joy. There have been a lot of tear filled mornings since then, but I am still so thankful for that first joyful morning. I am constantly thinking of you guys. You are so strong and handling this so gracefully. You are a gift to us all. Lots of love and prayers!

  2. There are many daughters that have shown capableness, but you___ you have ascended above them all. Proverbs 31:29

    Hugs for you, Paul and Alejandro

      • I am just amazed at your acceptance. My boy is 15 and has reached the stage no one talked about , where you outgrow the procedures and are left with half a small heart in an almost man sized body with not enough breath to climb a flight of stairs. Somehow we are thankful that he doesn’t have plastic lungs or PLE, but it sure does make me sad to see such a talented ,sporty, happy boy have to come to terms with his mortality at a time when he should be thinking about girls and cars and lord knows what else. I am sure we will get through it as all parents of chronically ill kids will, but your grace and kindness is amazing and has given me the slap on the forehead I needed to stop fighting this journey and take a moment to just breathe and try to enjoy life with my little man a bit more – even if he wants nothing to do with me!! X

      • I am just amazed at your acceptance. My boy is 15 and has reached the stage no one talked about , where you outgrow the procedures and are left with half a small heart in an almost man sized body with not enough breath to climb a flight of stairs. Somehow we are thankful that he doesn’t have plastic lungs or PLE, but it sure does make me sad to see such a talented ,sporty, happy boy have to come to terms with his mortality at a time when he should be thinking about girls and cars and lord knows what else. I am sure we will get through it as all parents of chronically ill kids will, but your grace and kindness is amazing and has given me the slap on the forehead I needed to stop fighting this journey and take a moment to just breathe and try to enjoy life with my little man a bit more – even if he wants nothing to do with me!! X

  3. God moves us all in many ways….we all encounter painful situations throughout life that will make us come back to God for healing….but what is better is that we stay because one lucky day he will call on us to join him and all our loved ones in that eternal banquet that we all hope to be a part of. Joaquin now forms part of the Lord’s Army and that has got to put your heart and mind at ease. May your beautiful angel invade your most vivid dreams and live in your hearts forever…..Your Sister in Christ Thania

      • I am praying for you, your husband and Alejandro….it brings me to tears to read your blogs because knowing that Alejandro cries himself to sleep is hard for any mother to imagine much less have to live it and not be able to make it better for him….I am with you when you say that you hope Joaquin comes to him in his dreams….I think that will be the only way that he will be less heart broken. Sending you all a warm hug!

  4. Hi Christie,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what you and your family must be going through. I admire your courage. you are Joaquin are blessed to have each other. Stay blessed and keep up the Faith

  5. Christie,
    I am so sorry to hear about your beautiful angel. I was able to meet you on Thurs, I was one of the nursing students from Texas A&M. You are the definition of a strong, beautiful woman. I hope to advocate and fight for my own children one day just as you did for your son. I am so glad I was graced with your presence and was able to meet you and your family. Everyone was so supportive and it was amazing to see. Although I did not get to meet the Joaquin that everyone talked about, I could feel it when I was in the room with him. I also loved the video of him counting his ABC’s that you showed on your phone. He was an Angel here on Earth and brightened so many lives day in and day out. He is shining down on us now and I will continue to keep him and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Can’t wait to continue to read your postings. Your family has touched many lives.

    Meagan Escochea

    • Hi Miss Meagan! It’s good to hear from you. It brings my heart so much joy that you and I got to meet. You have a wonderful teacher in Brenda – make sure you take lots of notes. Let me know how I can help. God bless!

  6. You are truly a person of faith. I was brought to tears, I have a son, and only wish i could be as a great of an example in faith, as you are. God Bless you and your family.

  7. I am so so sorry to hear of your loss. I’m sure that you know that God’s kingdom has welcomed him with open arms. Our professor Brenda Buckner really got us interested in Joaquins story, and his journey. Like you said, his journey here on earth is over, but now there is a whole new beginning. You and your family will be deep in my prayers.

  8. Christie,
    I am a student in Brenda Buckner’s pediatric clinical rotation. Although I have never met you or your son, I can feel a connection with ya’ll by reading your posts and seeing your pictures. I can tell by the pictures by the look on you face, how much you love your son and how happy he makes you. He looks so happy to be with you and I know that he loved you immensely, as well. I was so sorry to hear about your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as i continue to follow your touching blog.

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